


the one you know

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Battle Creek (TV)
Genre: Con Artists, M/M, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 16:57:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3700010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Russ finds out that Milt isn't who he says he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the one you know

"Are you going to tell me why you're here, if it's not for the case?" Milt said. Russ had been sitting in Milt's apartment, just staring at him, for several minutes.

Russ frowned, then leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "John McKenzie," he said, drawing the words out.

Milt tensed. "Who's that?"

"Really? You're going to keep bullshitting me even when I know?"

Milt just stared at him.

Russ waited, then continued, "I fucking know, Milt. You were John McKenzie. Then Daniel Thorne when you were a pretentious teenager. Then you were Thomas Forrest. Then you went off grid for a while. Then you--"

"Okay!" Milt said. "I - okay!" He actually looked flustered, for once.

He looked, reasonably enough, like a man whose world was crashing in on him.

"Why?" Russ asked. He tried to sound neutral, but he knew he sounded angry. Betrayed.

"Why what?"

Russ clenched his jaw. "You're a great con artist. And believe me, I've known a few."

"I _was_ a con artist. But now--"

"Now you're pretending to be an FBI agent."

"I _am_ an FBI agent."

"Not if they find out you lied about your entire identity to get in," Russ said. Milt was silent.

Russ let out a breath, looked down, then back at Milt. "You never kept a false identity for more than 3 months. Until a little over 10 years ago, when you became Milt Chamberlain - which I should have noticed was obviously a fake name by the way -- and you've been him ever since. Tell me why." 

Milt looked at him a long time. Part of Russ wanted to demand an answer, to tell Milt to stop spending so much time thinking of a lie. But he knew that a lie would come quick; Milt was hesitating because he was considering telling the truth.

Finally, Milt swallowed and said, softly, "I like being Milt."

"What does that even mean?" Russ groaned in exasperation.

Milt sighed and rolled his eyes a little, almost like he did when Russ refused to use FBI resources. "I just, I became Milt so I could get a job at a police station as a consultant. I needed to obtain some evidence that could get me into trouble."

"You needed to steal evidence."

"...And then I found I liked working there. I tried to help them with cases, at first to keep my cover, make everyone like me. Then I started... enjoying the work."

"You liked putting people away? For being criminals? Really?"

"I like putting violent people away. I hate violence. Russ, I want you to know this, okay? Whatever I've done, I've never committed a violent crime against anyone. Not under any name."

"Yeah, I know."

"You do?"

"You think that's not the first thing I'm gonna check?"

"...Right. So. Yeah. I liked the work. And so I had some contacts, first rate hacker and forger, who I asked to make my identity able to withstand scrutiny. So I could stay there longer."

"And why the FBI?"

"The police chief recommended me to one of his friends who was recruiting. I didn't ask for it."

Russ sighed. "Yeah. It was handed to you. Figures."

Milt frowned. "And I went along with it. I did well at the academy."

"I know. I checked that, too. And it must have occurred to you that being an FBI agent would make it really easy to pull off jobs."

"It's not like that. I never used the badge to get money out of anyone. I swear. You have to believe me, Russ."

"I believe you."

"You do?"

Russ nodded.

Milt gave a wan smile. "You checked that, too, didn't you?"

"Of course I checked it. I'm a cop."

Milt nodded, touch of admiration in his eyes. "So am I. I know you don't think so. But once I became Milt, the guy who always has a positive attitude, who loves everyone, everything changed for me. I had friends that I actually liked for real. I had a job that was actually challenging enough for me not to be bored."

"Is that why you ran all those cons? Boredom?" Russ looked skeptical.

"Partly," Milt said. "Partly because I was young and stupid and wanted to prove I was better than, you know."

"Better than your upbringing?" Russ asked, clearly baiting.

Milt narrowed his eyes. "I don't know. But I didn't do it just for the money. It was ... exciting."

"Addictive?"

"In a sense."

"So how'd you decide to stay Milt Chamberlain for over a decade?"

"I just.... It was like I had spent my whole life looking for who I wanted to be, and I finally found him. I really liked being an agent. And I was good at it."

"You're a con artist. You make people trust you, take advantage of their vulnerabilities. And you know how criminals think. Of course you were good at it."

Milt nodded, frowning. He didn't have an answer for that.

"What did you like about it?" Russ asked, dampening the edge in his tone just slightly.

Milt looked down at his hands, then back up at Russ. "I had always... made people like me. Then took what I wanted. Then left. Being Milt made me feel like I could do more than that. The first month on active duty, I saved a kidnapping victim. When he thanked me, it was like.... I mean, every other time someone has thanked me, like really been grateful to me, it's for something I did as part of a con. But this... I had saved him. Not to gain his trust and get into his computer files or anything like that. I had wanted to be a good FBI agent and I wanted to save him. For once, I wasn't accepting his thanks knowing that I was going to screw him over in a few days. It was just... different. You don't know what that feels like. To not have any idea that you're capable of being a-" Milt paused, sighed, "for lack of a better term, a good person. And then to realize, all of a sudden, that maybe you are. I couldn't walk away after that."

Russ watched him carefully. "Why did you come to Battle Creek?"

"I was up for another promotion. Higher level of security check, I didn't realize. Someone found out."

"And they wanted to cover their ass," Russ said.

"They were worried that if I were found out, all my cases would be re-opened and reversed. So they sent me here, told me not to make waves, that as long as I stayed out of sight and didn't try to get in on any big federal cases, they'd pretend not to know."

"Ass covering," Russ repeated. "So let me ask you something, Mr. First Place at Quantico. Did you cheat to get that ranking?"

"No. I did that on my own."

"Makes sense. Con artists are known for being ruthlessly brilliant."

Milt frowned, but Russ continued, "So you had to learn how to psychologically profile criminals?"

"Yeah."

"How would you profile someone like yourself, Milt?" Russ tilted his head. Milt tensed; he clearly thought that Russ was just batting him around before taking him in.

Slowly, anger just peeking through, Milt said, "Conventional profiling would suggest that serial cons reflect a narcissistic personality. A form of sociopathy."

"And is that accurate? Are you a sociopath?"

"No," Milt said, gritting his teeth.

"Why's that?"

"I empathize with others, for one."

"What about the other stuff? Needing praise from others? Believing that you're special and entitled? The rest of that list?"

"What's the point of this, Russ? Is this fun for you?"

"I want to know if my partner has been playing me this whole time," Russ said, voice low, mouth curled in resentment.

"No," Milt said. "I've been lying to you. But everything I've ever said about anything other than my identity has been true."

"Kind of sounds like playing me."

"It's -- what was I supposed to do, Russ?" Milt said, sounding a little frantic for once, "Say, hey I like you, let me tell you I'm not an agent, I'm just some...."

"Some what?" Russ asked, curious.

"Never mind," Milt said. "Just... let's just get to it. Okay?"

"One more question, Milt. Why did you pick me as your partner?"

"I just thought we would work well together. And you had the best record of handling tough cases."

"Really. You're going to lie to me. _Again._ "

Milt slumped back into his chair. "I just... I could tell you didn't like me. I knew it would be easier that way. I wouldn't have to be likeable every single second. Being perfect cheerful nice guy Milt is kind of... exhausting sometimes."

Russ softened a little, but shook his head. "That can't be all. Tell me, Mr. Psych Profile, what would you say about a con artist who intentionally spends all his time with a guy who doesn't like him, wants to discredit him, and has the habit of compulsively looking into every detail of people's past, to the extent that it's ruined relationships?"

"Is that what happened with your ex?" Milt asked.

"Shut up and answer."

"I don't know what you're getting at, Russ."

"You. You picked me because you wanted to be caught."

Milt laughed, voice tight. "That's ridiculous. Why would I want that?"

"I don't know. You're sick of being a sociopathic liar?"

"I don't want to go to prison, Russ," Milt said. "Why would anyone want that?"

"You don't want to go, but you do want to get caught at some level. I want to know why."

"Well, I can't help you. I think you're just projecting something that's not there."

"Fine. Be that way. I'll get the answer eventually. You know I will." He gave Milt a little smirk.

Milt smiled despite himself. "So... what now? Are you going to take me to the Chief? I'm not going to resist arrest, if that's what you're wondering."

"I know. No violence attempting to escape custody, not ever. I checked, remember?"

"Then what are we waiting for?" Milt said, false sheen of nonchalance back in place, all charm and dignity.

"The thing is, you've put me in a really difficult spot," Russ said, standing up. "You're a complete phony. But I think I'm going to need your phony ass to solve the Banner murder."

Milt looked up, confused. "One last case?" he asked, tentatively.

"You say you like being Milt. Be him a few more days so you don't fuck up this investigation. But if you run --"

"I won't run," Milt said, his forehead wrinkling. "I - I'd really like to finish being Milt with a win."

"Fine. Let's go over the garage owner's files over breakfast tomorrow."

"I'll be there."

"I still think you're a dick, by the way."

Milt actually smiled. "You thought that when you believed I was an FBI agent."

"And I was right." Russ turned and started walking toward the door.

"Russ. Thank you. Really," Milt called after him.

Russ kept walking.

**Author's Note:**

> For this prompt at comment-fic on lj: Battle Creek, Milt Chamberlain/Russ Agnew, Milt is too sane not to be crazy


End file.
